Luxury Caravan with Sea Views

[John]

Who would like to offer a nice title or headline for this desireable holiday location? The accommodation is interesting....

[Cookie]

A lovely airy accomodation with well tended garden.

[Mike]

Caravan in need of modernisation for sale in desirable seaside location.

[Myra]

For me this would be the perfect ( Des res )

[Tom Gerrard]

Reminded me of the descriptions that those snakes in suits (estate agents) use,

Cosy, compact, bijou, deceptively spacious, good use of space, easy to manage usually means you haven’t the room to swing the proverbial moggy around.

Very spacious interior - no internal walls.

Suit DIY enthusiast, suitable for conversion, modernizing or updating etc, - an absolute dump, a pile of rubble which requires the unlimited skills of a person who has just won the lottery to act as a demolition man, architect, builder and interior designer to demolish and do a complete rebuild.

Full of character – has not been decorated for fifty years.

Individual décor – done by the last lot of squatters.

Exposed beams – ceiling needs replacing.

Interesting features – designed by a drunken architect.

Light and airy – new window frames, panes, doors that fit and complete draught proofing needed.

Complete double glazing which means you are right next to the motorway (convenient for commuting) or under the flight path of runway number 1.

Convenient for public transport – bus stop outside your front door or railway line at the bottom of your garden.

Convenient for schools – thousands of the little brats pass by daily and use your front garden as a municipal rubbish dump.

No external pictures available – situated next to nuclear power station, sewage farm, H.M.P. etc.

Rural views – Cow shed or pig sty at the end of your garden.

Sea views – Always freezing cold, wet and windy.

Secluded situation – no access road, electricity, calor gas heating and lighting, septic tank, no mains water, although you will still have pay the community charge and water rates.

Manageable garden – two square feet of grass.

Mature garden – never been tended for a hundred years, completely overgrown.

Compact garden – room for two plant pots.

There must be lots more, but thankfully I can’t of any more at this time.

Regards, Tom.

[sunsworth]

"Andy Burnham MP convinces the House of Commons standards committee that his second home is not an undue indulgence. Though he wishes that previous occupant John Prescot had left it in a tidier state."

[Alan Duckworth]

Being a caravanner, when I see a picture like this, I always wonder, who it belongs(ed) to, and how they got it there in the first place, and did they live in it or was it used as a bordello? I don't suppose we will ever know. I will think of you all next week, I will be in warmer climes. All the best, Alan.